Friendship FOMO? Why Having Fewer Friends Isn't a Cause for Concern

Growing up in the 90s or early 00s we often saw an ideal of what friendships can mean. We watched in FRIENDS, or How I Meet Your Mother a group of people going through ups and downs.

Not only were these groups inseparable through various life events, but they were also loyal and interested in keeping this connection alive. While we often realize that romantic movies are portrayed through pink-tinted glasses, we forget to check our views on friendships and get disappointed as a result.

For some of us, reality looks a little bit different. Friends are more people we can categorize as lifetime companions. This means while you and Karen from uni were absolute besties, it can change in a blink of an eye, when life circumstances change. Which is normal and fine. Every life stage holds a variety of life events that make us reorganize life priorities and put former friendships on hold.

Stop Idealizing friend groups

When we are looking from the outside, or as a consumer on social media we tend to idealize the reality of friendships. And we tend to think that everyones life is a huge party. This doesn’t mean they are completely fake- but every relationship and every friendship has their ups and downs. Their time with frequent, or no contact at all. Do not idealize relationships from the outside without knowing their dynamics or quality.

Less drama

Having less or no friends can be very lonely sometimes, but every coin has two sides. There are serval reasons why you can profit during your aloneness:

* No jealousy

* No intrigues

* No comparisons 

* No peer pressure

* No need to show-off

…and the list can go on and on

You are not alone

When typing "I have no friends" on YouTube, you will find a variety of YouTubers, who share their struggles with friendships. You will quickly notice that this problem knows no age, gender, or perceived popularity on the internet. By naming the lack of friends in your life you can start to take steps to change it and discover possible reasons for that. 

Befriend yourself

During life, people come and go. But the body and the mind you live in will remain for the rest of your life. The best thing you can do is to design the best possible mental and physical house to live in. Do the self-work, so you can get comfortable with yourself whether in company or none. Don’t wait for friends to visit places you want to go, to travel to certain areas, or to try out new sports. Life is too short to depend on others for your happiness. And life is also too short to tolerate bad company only to avoid aloneness.

Being alone doesn’t equal being lonely

Being alone describes a physical state, while loneliness is an emotional or a general mental state you deal with. You can be in a room full of people and feel lonely, or completely alone and your most fulfilled self. You don't necessarily have to associate one of these states with melancholy. Use it as an opportunity to reorient, find yourself and shape yourself. Being alone gives you more clarity and a stable ground you can build from.

Last but not least: There will be always a possibility of making new friends

Having no friends is no done deal. With a little bit of optimism and openness there will be always an opportunity to make new (or more) ones.